Re-Affirmation
Re-affirmation is a necessary act in all of our ongoing relationships.
God ~ wife ~ geography ~ career - things
Is this what I want? Yes or no?
To reaffirm is to make it live again. It is to choose and to endorse the choice.
If the answer to this question is a negative, a “no”, it reveals that the ruling principle is no longer love or choice. Instead we in a relationship of Obligation which becomes Burden, dissatisfaction, irritation, frustration, etc.
Re-affirmation is a necessary step to make our relationships live again.
Journal note, Nov 8, 1985
To the degree that we cannot reaffirm, to that degree we are just going through the motions as our lives are becoming hollowed out. Perhaps this is what T.S. Eliot was writing about when he wrote:
“We are the hollow men
We are the stuffed me:
Leaning together
Headpiece filled with straw. Alas!
Our dried voices, when
We whisper together
Are quiet and meaningless
As wind in dry grass
Or rats’ feet over broken glass
In our dry cellar....”
There comes a point in every relationship, vocation, and commitment when the initial enthusiasm fades and choice must take its place. Love is not merely a feeling that arrives unbidden; it is also an act of the will. To reaffirm is to say, “Yes, again.” It is to revisit a promise, a place, a person, a calling, and consciously embrace it anew.
Without reaffirmation, even good things become burdens. Marriage becomes duty. Work becomes drudgery. Faith becomes ritual. Home becomes merely an address. We continue to perform the outward motions while the inward fire gradually cools.
The question, “Is this what I want?” is therefore not a selfish question but a clarifying one. It forces us to examine whether we are living by choice or merely by inertia. Reaffirmation restores intentionality. It breathes life into what has become routine. It transforms obligation back into gratitude and reminds us why we chose this path in the first place.
Perhaps the secret of a meaningful life is not found in continually seeking new commitments, but in repeatedly rediscovering the value of the ones we’ve already made.